My Biggest Learning Of 2020: Protect Your Peace
My Biggest Learning Of 2020: Protect Your Peace
2020 is a year for the history books.
When I take myself out of my own head and look at whats been happening pragmatically, I am still in complete disbelief over what has been happening all over the world this year. It’s easy to get used to something when you’re living with it every day, but the minute you put things into perspective, compare your life this year to other years and realise how completely out of the ordinary 2020 is, it feels like a big smack in the face. This year is the definition of a big smack in the face.
When you’re dusting yourself off, you can’t help but reflect, and lately there has been one thing on my mind that has definitely been a key learning from this horrific motherfucker of a year. I read it a few months back during the first lockdown when there seemed to be a huge rise in “anti-influencer” culture and it has been something that I think has saved me from a lot of unnecessary stress and anxiety, especially when it comes to my work on social media which has been absolutely essential to maintain my creativity and inner happiness online.
PROTECT YOUR PEACE
Protect your peace at all costs. Its been a horrible year, so it’s more important than ever to be hyper aware of your actions, your words, the people you have around you and the landscape you’ve created for yourself on social media.
Sometimes the controversy or negative feedback from sharing your opinions isn’t worth the stress it brings but this doesn’t just apply to someone who works online as a creative. Protect your peace is a practice that will save future you from unwanted stress and its a phrase I tell myself every time I sense danger signals in a conversation, when I feel a strong opinion coming from deep inside that I know will be controversial, etc etc, you get the drift.
We’re all human, we aren’t perfect, so think of this as a way to prevent human natured fuck ups like getting a bit too carried away when speaking negatively about others (talking crap about people), saying something insensitive that you know might upset someone in the room (the blunt sagittarius in me is guilty of this), and in my case sharing opinions online or bothering to reply to a shitty Instagram comment or DM’s that aren’t constructive, just plain rude (there’s a difference!).
Here’s an example for you, let’s go back to the talking crap about people. Again, there is no judgement here because we are all human. How many times have you gotten a bit carried away in conversation where you ended up talking down on someone else, only to find out the person you spoke to went straight back to the subject of your shit talking and told them everything you said? Yeah, that’s a crappy feeling, it makes you feel completely on edge and is mostly learnt the hard way in our teenage years. Of course we shouldn’t be speaking about others negatively, first and foremost thats just about having good morals, but protect your peace comes into play where you make that mental decision to actively not engage in the shit talking, even if you think the subject of it is deserving. You may even have some strong opinions about that person, but protecting your peace means to put those opinions aside and to get on with your life because in all honesty, engaging in negative conversation never makes you feel good anyway, I promise.
Be aware of the people you surround yourself with, you may have taken 2020 to Marie Kondo your friendships and clear out anyone who is making you feel drained, who is dumping their problems on you or who is taking up far too much room in your thought space. Protecting your peace is about unsubscribing to drama, noting toxic relationships, realising who makes you feel good when you’re around them and vice versa, I honestly cannot even express how important it is to ensure that you’re surrounded with happy, positive people who are supportive and cheering you on, because life is way too hard to settle for anything less.
It’s really important to take note that I am not at all saying we shouldn’t share opinions or give feedback, we absolutely should, especially if you’re a woman (!). However, being someone who struggles with anxiety and who has been incredibly fragile this year, I have found that I’m a much happier person when I disengage with people and content that clearly empties out my cup and makes me overthink for hours on end. I also understand that not everyone is like this and for them a bit of drama is water of a ducks back, and that is totally cool, but I’m speaking to those of you who are feeling fragile this year, people like me who simply NEED to stay away from any type of negativity.
If I see injustice online, I now make the conscious decision to either take note/unfollow/be the change in real life or if I feel the need to engage, I am hyper aware of the fact that I may be putting my peace on the line for this conversation/point of view/commentary. Honestly the phrase ignorance is bliss is so true when it comes to the online world, there is so much petty drama and confrontation that I am so more than happy to steer clear from!
I often see things that upset me online, but 9 times out of 10 I know that engaging with it will only either a) distract me from the work I need to be doing, b) make me feel like crap in that moment, c) create unnecessary anxiety that will potentially affect me for days on end. It’s so important to pick your battles because sometimes they simply aren’t worth the worry. This also relates to something I’ve been preaching for years, and that is to be hyper aware of the people you are following on social media. If something makes you feel shitty, unfollow or mute if it’s someone you know personally. This has been a life saver for me this year!
I also love this article from Medium about protecting your peace, with the quote:
“IT’S TIME to build a bubble. Create a safe place. It’s a place where joy is endless. There is no place for guilt or shame in your bubble.
It’s like a tree house or a tent of endless hoy and imagination, where you can choose who is allowed to enter. You can also choose which thoughts are allowed.
You have to be sober in your conscious decision to not let everyone or anyone enter your safe place. You can create protection or energy zones where you willing to give some room for collaboration and coexistence. But not everyone’s energy or intention is the same as yours so you can’t allow them to steal your joy or violate your inner peace.”
Not. Everyone’s. Intention. Is. The. Same. As. Yours.
This is why we must protect our peace.